12.01.10

ya...
its all my fault..

right people?

yes..

people dont know me well..
k, SOME people..

i wont want to lead a life in hardship?

tell me who wants?

i wont want people around me to suffer?

i have seen many families suffer..

mentally and financially..

tell me, if i were to earn a little, how am i supposed to support my family?


i have brains lah...

and for me not being matured?

im sorry lah...

if i am a kid who wants to play around, i wouldnt have gone to do my O's for the second time..
YES! , the second time..

for THOSE who dont know and judged me blindly, i am 18 already. yes, 18.

i retained secondary 5 in the year 2009.

SO? who are you people to judge?

you are not even god?

even criminals are given second chances.

what about me? what wrong have i done?

i didnt make anyone suffer? did i?

NO?!

did i use any of your money?

NO?!

if i wasnt matured, i wouldnt have done that.

im an egoistic person, but for my future, i let my egos down..

how did ANYONE of you think when i had to go back to my secondary school to retake for the whole year??

YOU people think i have NO reputation at all?

but, to me, future is very important. yes.
so is education...

come to think of it, im glad i retook my O's.

its a step that i made that is going to change my life.

so, to people who has no belief in me, u can continue doing so.

just remember, dont judge anything, without getting to know the facts...


as for MATURITY,

i have nothing to say..

i mean, why must be very serious??

teenage comes once in a lifetime..

YES, being serious is important...

but being serious all the time? you must be nuts.~

and dont tell me, just by reading some stuff you can judge me?

please........ im human...

i dont write serious things on the blog...

blogging, to me, is like summarising your day...

must u summarise your day in a serious manner?

no... of course not...

lemme ask you this...

if you have your own personal diary, would u be all serious and stuff?
no? yes?

another thing....

chances....

i really dont know what wrong i have done to recieve this much hatred?

tell me, please, what have i done?

i dont recall being rude to any of you?

neither have i said anything bad about u?

you know, i seriously dont know..

maybe there are to reasons why that much hatred is being given to me by ya'll..

firstly, there is no faith in me...

secondly.....(i assume i know the reasons...)


you know, there is a limit to my patience...

not only me, everyone does...

ive really put up with this for months...

i know, i know...

solutions will be given like " just leave her lor..." or maybe "just be seperated lor..."

its not simple..

you put urself in my shoes...

anyone of you, in a relationship...
tell me...
what would you do, if you really love your partner...
not for 1-2 days, but 10 mths..

to you, 10 months is nothing...
but remember, u start everything from scratch..

dont tell me to achieve in a relationship for 4-5 years, your love for each other in the first few months are nothing?

and another thing, the phrase "if you love her, let her go"

its just bullshit in some fairytale..

tell me, if you love her, you let go of her for what??

and when you guys say, its simple...

but try being in my shoe..

its really unfair..

life's unfair? yes. very.

but we are the ones who determine fairness..

why cant i be given a chance? why cant i?

please, if you need to talk, we can talk...

you have my number...
please, arrange a date or something...

we can really discuss...

i really love her...
please give me a chance?

i know you guys dont believe in me and thinks that im the cause of some misfortunes...

but please, if you wanna talk or something, please dial me up...

give me a chance....



i love you, shiya

`010409






ps; im sorry if i said any harsh things...

i wrote it in the moment of anger...
im really sorry..